Then why do you expect others to be a mind reader?
Many times, when I am talking with friends or clients, I hear their frustration with people in their lives who won’t … respond to phone calls, emails … do what they think someone should be doing … reach out to them when they should know they need them … you get the picture. I have even been on rants just like these myself only to continue my frustration, hurt, anger and disappointment.
We believe that people should just ‘know’ what we are thinking and act accordingly. They should read our minds!
How many times have you called someone and that person doesn’t call back right away or within a few days? Or you email them asking for some information or help on a project and nothing happens? All you hear is the sound of crickets.
I am not a fortune teller or a mind reader nor can I expect anyone else to be either of those things to me. What I do know is that sometimes we get so caught up in our own past stories of hurt, rejection, and abandonment that we allow these stories to bleed into our life today. Then our mind takes over beginning to swirl with all the reasons why people are hurtful, callous, ungrateful … and the list goes on. Sometimes the swirl becomes so great in our mind that we declare never to talk or email or reach out to that person again saying to ourselves … “I’ll show them!”
That swirl is us feeling like we are not good enough for other people to care. We allow our pain to override things that are really good in our life.
What’s a person to do?
Become your own Mind Reader … when you find yourself beginning to swirl, become aware of why you are swirling. Ask yourself what is really going on that is causing you to swirl. In other words, why are you feeling this pain? Is it really about the other person not responding to you in the way that you want them to respond? Or is it something that happened many years ago that you haven’t healed from yet?
Once you create that awareness, decide what you really want and don’t give up. Ask again and let go of the outcome. It is not really about the outcome. It is about what you really want.
If you are stuck in this swirling pattern and want more tools to help you get out of it, let’s talk.