Let’s continue the discussion on the Ego …
… that part of you, your mind, that controls the conversations going on in your head all the time … the conversation between your conscious and subconscious thoughts. Or according to the more refined definition … a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.
Last week, we look at the needs of the ego in the following areas … the need to know, the need to judge and the need to justify … recognizing that the ego is neither good nor bad. It just is.
Continued needs of the ego …
- The need to be right – creating self love so you feel good in your eyes and your perception of being seen as “right” or the “expert” in other’s eyes.
- Positive view: making sure you are precise in facts, figures, words, expertise, etc. This allows you to see and understand your value and worth … coming from your authentic self.
- Negative view: not allowing the need to be right in all arguments just so you can say you were “right” – having the “last word”.
- Tip here – when you are able to see both sides of a discussion or situation (letting go of the need to be right), your growth takes a quantum leap.
- The need to look good – looking outside of yourself for recognition or approval. Facebook likes, witter retweets, LinkedIn comments, shares, etc.
- Positive view: the ability to know your own self and to stay true to the essence of you … loving you for being you without outside approval. Living from the inside love you have to generate the inner beauty of you to the outside world.
- Negative view: wanting the perception of approval from anyone, even strangers, to make you feel worthy and valued. Example of this is walking into a room seeking compliments for your looks, your outfit, your demeanor.
- The need to get even – this is the moment of you going into the defensive mode; feeling as if you need to protect you.
- Positive view: having the ability to identify those moments of the ego to defend and lash out … saying “this isn’t really me; it is just my ego getting in my way”. Noticing your thoughts of wanting to last out before you do … thinking before you speak.
- Negative view: feeding into the notion that you have to lash out and defend you, your ideas, your thoughts & your behaviors. This is a methodology of self harm.
Again, the ego’s main job is to make us feel safe in whatever way possible. Yet, ego is a place of constriction and opposed to change or growth.
When ego drives your actions, you are not in a place of feeling complete as love is not a part of the ego. Ego is the prime reason you can’t move forward in the way you would like.
If ego is trying to stop you, then how do you rid the 6 needs of the ego and not be afraid. This is counter-intuitive as the ego wants you to say “no” first and then think about it later – this is the safe way. It really takes you making a leap of faith, saying “yes” without the knowing how it is going to happen.
Being able to identify when the ego is doing the talking/deciding and when you are coming from your heart is a key process in this journey. Being able to take that step into the unknown outside of your comfort zone is where beautiful things happen.
How does your ego show up for you?
How is this “ego” keeping you stuck in life?
I am here for you. If you would like to grow beyond your Ego, have a conversation with me …