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How do you navigate?

I know there are times in life when you feel unsure of the direction your life is taking. You question yourself and others hoping to hear what you most want to hear … “this is the way”. You search through the personal & professional development sections of the bookstore knowing that one of those books is going to help you gain more clarity and purpose of what is next for you. You seek out motivational talks, webinars, blogs knowing that one of these will give you exactly what you need … a clear direction that you can believe in taking.
What I know is that your internal navigation system gives you the answers you seek as long as you allow, through a leap of faith, that the answers are there … within you. A wonderful coach of mine said it so well … there is no question you have that you don’t already have the answer. All the answers needed are within you as long as you are willing to hear the answer in the way that it comes.

How do you tune in?

Let’s help you tune in to your internal navigation system … ground yourself with a clear specific question, let go of the how this answer comes to you, and allow the answer to come in the way it is to come and in the answer that comes. Listen to the answer that comes and allow yourself to believe in that answer. Many times, you have an idea of what you want the answer to be stopping yourself from hearing any other answer.
Like my navigation system on my phone, I give it permission to take me in the direction I want to go without trying to control exactly how I get there. It always gets me there even if I am not sure of the way. Through a leap of faith, my internal navigation system works in the same way … perfectly each time.

Denise Hansard is a former corporate pricing expert turned motivational speaker & life coach with a Masters in counseling who has coached hundreds of women to make 6 figures, find the love of their life and get super healthy. Author of the book Suffering in Comfort, she is an expert in transformation.

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As I was beginning a call with a potential client, I started the call with “Is this still a good time for you?”. I asked as she sounded a bit distracted. I wanted to make sure nothing bad had come up and she was trying to figure out how to reschedule.
Her response … “Yes, it’s fine.”
FINE … I really hate this word. Fine has become the word you use to hide your true feelings, thoughts, and emotions. As she said ‘fine’, I somewhat chuckled. Realizing that I had chuckled out loud, I quickly explained my gut reaction to the use of the word ‘fine’. I mean, using the word ‘fine’ comes across most of the time as sarcasm, indecision, or not really meaning what you are saying. This was not the case for her.
How often do you use the ‘F’ word of fine?
This is a new one for me as I had never really thought about it until this moment. Then as the day went on, I found myself using it and using it more than I wanted. Example, as I was choosing what I wanted for dinner, I heard my internal voice … “This is fine and I really want this one.” Indecision. Or another example that all of us can relate to is when you are angry with someone – this person is not even aware of your anger – and when asked “how was your day?” … you respond with “Fine!”. Any man will tell you that when a woman says ‘fine’, things are far from ‘fine’.
Why do you use this word?
Habit is the quickest and easiest answer. On a deeper level, it is due to being afraid of sharing the reality of emotions you are in at that moment. You hide your true emotions behind words, this word or other similar words … such as OK. The fear lies in having a past experience (usually negative) where you were criticized to not share your honest emotions. In the corporate world, sharing emotions is considered taboo. You have to be professional! Same thing applies in your own business. No one wants you spewing your emotions all other the place. And, there is some truth to this.
What it all boils down to is what you choose to share of yourself and your emotions and with whom you are sharing. Choosing to dive deep into yourself to understand the need to hide these emotions … where do they come from and why do you still have these underlying conditioned emotions that need to be hidden from the world. Choosing to make a change not to ‘hide’ anymore … from yourself and others … will dynamically change you and your world. All of the desires and yearnings you have … better career, great health, caring relationship … will be yours.
I can help you make this change. This is what I do … transform your life. Don’t you want that? You are not broken, you desire more.

Let’s talk.

Denise Hansard is a former corporate pricing expert turned motivational speaker & life coach with a Masters in counseling who has coached hundreds of women to make 6 figures, find the love of their life and get super healthy. Author of the book Suffering in Comfort, she is an expert in transformation.

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A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.

—ALBERT EINSTEIN (1879–1955)

There have been times in my life when I wondered … “am I really making a difference and if so, what more can I do”.  I don’t question this often as I can see how people make changes when they do the work of our coaching journey. It is always nice when you hear that validation of our coaching work together. Here is Gerald’s story which I am honored to share with you.   
Hi Denise,
I arrived at our first session with one thought in my head;

“OK ‘Lady’, (whispering under my breath the entire way), give it your best shot”. “I don’t need a coach, counselor, or a psychologist”. I need a job and am not quite sure how you or anybody else, for that matter, can help me.

Clearly, I was in Phase X of a Quadruple X process which is mostly made up of emotional ups and downs (more downs, it seems) when it comes to losing a job and resetting for effective networking, job search, soul searching, confidence restoration….and so on.
Basically, I was very reluctant to open up to a stranger (at the time) as I am relatively private with my successes, failures and how I feel. I was ‘ticked off’ at the world and myself for needing help with my professional direction, personal productivity, and communication.
If this behavior had a picture, it’s a guy with his arms folded, frowning (more like a scowl) and covering his ears so as not to hear (sound) advice.
Now, stop, imagine the visual again and you’ll realize that you can’t fold your arms and cover your ears at the same time. So, in fact, I was actually listening to you, Denise.
I took the assignments with me, carried the colorful notebooks and began to write. I kept notes, tasks, etc.
I took a hard look at my ‘circle of 5’ and examined who I was spending time with most and why. I tore apart my on-line profiles, CV, networking brief and began to write in the human voice without sacrificing too much of my SEO (search engine optimization). I began to tell people about my goals and was only interested in how to get there.
What I discovered about myself during the process of being coached (yes, that’s an actual process) is far too much to list here.
However, I decided that my approach needed more conviction, more passion and less of this professional, corporate persona I had become over the years. I found a voice within me that was convincing, believable, and more of who I am and less about the jobs, responsibilities, places, and problems I solved over the years. Yes, P.A.R.S. and C.A.R.S. are important strategic elements for successful interviewing. However, until you can articulate a message that captures what you can and will do is an actual part of the real you. You will convince no one, including yourself.
The experience through your coaching empowered me to maintain the level of caution I need to be comfortable. Yet, you help me to persevere with vigor, reach decisions faster and where sometimes the answer is ‘no’. And I felt I could rebound from setbacks or accept the idea of starting over (which is never really fun). At some point, it all clicked. I was certain the spike in interviews, opportunities were a result of sticking to the ideas we discussed.
I’ve been on the job for less than a week and feel as if I left the last 589 days of frustration behind. I’m teaching graduate level courses now, landed a role in supply chain technology which is my passion and I have not abandoned my latest entrepreneurial idea. I am simply taking the steps to get there.
The most important takeaway and hopefully I don’t give away trade secrets by revealing this… 

Write down your goal, your biggest dreams. Then write the first step it takes to get there. Don’t squash the dream by thinking of all the reasons you can’t. Instead, focus on the very next smallest most logical step that puts you on the path. Like shampoo; rinse and repeat.

Thanks, Denise

Not sure who would believe my story and what I had to endure to get over the hump. So, I can only hope by sharing, someone who could use your help will listen and achieve.
All the best,
Gerald C
Click here to have a conversation.

Denise Hansard is a former corporate pricing expert turned motivational speaker & life coach with a Masters in counseling who has coached hundreds of women to make 6 figures, find the love of their life and get super healthy. Author of the book Suffering in Comfort, she is an expert in transformation. http://denisehansard.com

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At one time, I thought having a plan B was such a great idea. Even when I was working in the corporate world, my team would always have a “just in case” plan when the first one didn’t work … at all or as well as was expected. I am hearing it now with all the wonderful people I am speaking with about their vision or goal for where they want to go in their career/business.

“I want my current business … my true love, that which I love to do … to thrive. BTW, I’m also doing this other thing on the side (essential oils, skincare, on-line digital marketing, etc.) just in case.”

Is there anything wrong with this? It depends.

It depends upon where you place your focus and in what way you place your focus. Here’s what I know – what you focus on the most grows. You may have heard this as the Law of Attraction. I call it your “intentional focus” principle.
When you have a vision/goal for your project whether in the corporate world, entrepreneurial world or your personal world, having one plan – plan A – is the key to it succeeding quicker. Notice my words here … “quicker”. Can your plan succeed? Yes, maybe – given enough time and enough attention to that plan.
2 mindset F traps for having a plan B:

1. “Fractured” – your mind doesn’t really believe that you can make plan A work since you already have a plan B in place. For most of us, having a plan B suddenly becomes plan A or really plan AB since you work on both at the same time. Your belief system is confused creating doubt & worry which can then lead into a pattern of “not good enough” feelings and behaviors.
2. “Failure” – you have created a clear intent with having a plan B since you are already preparing for plan A to fail. I saw this so much in my corporate work. The “bosses” love your idea on implementing the project when you are presenting it to them – nothing but accolades. Then, as you are shutting down your PowerPoint presentation, they ask that infamous question … “What do you have in place in case this doesn’t work?” Your mind goes into “failure” preparation mode … coming up with a plan B.

Again, having a plan B is not the end of the world. Understanding how to view and implement plan B is the key.

Is plan B really a backup plan or is it a supplement to the original plan?
If you need to have immediate success, is plan B really a plan A for right now?
How do you implement plan A so as not to need plan B … what steps do you take, what mindset do you embrace?

As daunting as these questions may seem to you, these questions are a beginning to clarifying your plan A and your success. Thomas Edison tested over 3000 filaments before he created his version of a practical light bulb. Did he have a plan B? No, he had one vision clearly in mind already believing in the outcome.
“The three things that are most essential to achievement are common sense, hard work and stick-to-it-iv-ness…”.  Thomas Edison
 If you would like to take a step into what you can do to clarify your plan A, let’s talk.  It is up to you to take that step.

Click here to get on my calendar for that conversation.

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Mothers are the backbone to the life that you live. This weekend brings a special celebration into your life – that of honoring the woman or women figures whom have portrayed mother qualities in your life.
Your mother was the one person whom you could love the most, turn to in times of need, hate one moment and cry to the next as your heart was breaking. She knew things before you even had time to really digest them. She allowed you to make choices in your life even when she understood the potential for you to get emotionally hurt. She was the one to help you pick up the pieces of your life when life was tough.
She was the first voice you heard while in the womb, the first smile you saw upon your birth, the first real love connection in your life. Honor that and her energy of still being a part of you whether your mother is still with you or is only in your heart.
What stories do you hold on to when it comes to your Mom? Do you hold memories of her and her life … the joys she had, the struggles she endured, the challenges of her childhood, the successes of all that she lived through in her life. Are any of these memories – these stories – have they become your life, your story? Are you living your mother’s life? Are you ok with that?
I believe that each of us in some way is living our mother’s life and that is OK. What is not OK is to continue the challenges that your mother would not want you to carry on from her. To live her life coming from a place of lack, of not feeling worthy or good enough, of not having the confidence to be authentic. This is what I would love to convey here as a choice that you have in your life.
Honor that part of your mother that brings joy, abundance, security, confidence, sincerity, and goodness in to your life. This is what you want to do for your children if you are a mother or a mother figure in someone’s life. You want to instill in each child a sense of purpose to do all that he/she can do … to love who they are, living their life from the inside out – not allowing circumstances & situations to keep them “stuck” in pain.
So, here’s to being your true self … living your life and loving whom you are … mother qualities and all!

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“Thought is the only thing that can produce tangible riches …”

“Man is a thinking center, and can originate thought. All the forms that Man fashions with his hands must first exist in his thoughts; he cannot shape a thing until he has thought that thing.”

Basically, what he is saying is that everything is created twice … first in our thoughts and then in reality. The home you designed … first it was a thought. The invention of the combustible engine was first a thought. If you can imagine it in your mind, then there is a way to create it. The way to do this is to believe in you and the belief you can take actions steps to create it.

Are you creating Scarcity in your life?

We do this type of creation all the time without even realizing that we are doing it. We proclaim how bad we feel even when initially we weren’t feeling bad then someone says we look like we don’t feel well. We live from a place of scarcity when we continually claim that we “can’t afford” even the smallest things of pleasure. We have to save for that “rainy” day holding on tightly to everything that we have. When we do this, we begin the process of “choking” other opportunities out of our life.
The most common way of “creating from our thoughts” is through our choices of how we talk – internally to ourselves and externally to others. How often do you find yourself saying these common phrases …

“I can’t”   “I don’t know”   “I’m sorry”   “I wish I could”   “Let me ask/check …”

All of these phrases give away your power — allowing you to not be responsible to you and your beliefs. These words are harsh and I believe in the power of our thoughts creating our reality.
What if you changed your words to make them more empowering and more positive? Instead of saying “I can’t”, say “I choose”; “I don’t know” say “Let me find out or tell me more”; “I’m sorry” say “I feel for your pain or I understand”.
Saying things like “I wish I could” or “Let me ask/check …” is basically saying that you have no power to make a decision. Why not claim your power back and say “I am working on achieving that”? These are my words. You have your own way of reframing these phrases to make them more empowering. Choose the empowering words instead of the disempowering words.
Our thoughts come from the conversation we are telling ourselves … can’t do it, not good enough, what makes me think I can this time … all these conversations are a choice we make to keep us stuck in our pain. I can relate as I was there once. What choices are you making? Choices of conversation that can keep you stuck in pain or empowered to move forward? Only you can choose and you don’t have to do it alone.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

YOU ARE READY LIVE THE LIFE YOU ARE MEANT TO LIVE.
CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH ME.

IT IS A CONVERSATION THAT COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

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At this time of year, we are all asked to believe in something that seems impossible … an elderly man dressed up in a red suit traveling around the world bestowing presents to all the good girls and boys — in a 24 hour period with only flying reindeer to make sure it happens without any problems.

Sound familiar? I mean who of us have not had requests in our life that seem almost as impossible. Your project sponsor calls to let you know that management is expecting deliverables on a project 2 weeks earlier than previously planned. A family member suddenly requests your help with your parents and you are thousands of miles away. You have it all – a great career, money in the bank, wonderful loved ones, the home, the kids, and the dog – yet you can’t seem to believe that you should have all this.
When did you stop believing? Believing in yourselves and your abilities? As children, you were told that you could have it all … just use your imagination, see yourself in it and it will happen. When did you stop believing in this process? Most of you still teach this process to your children – believing that this will work for them. Yet, you don’t think it can work for you anymore.

How do you get back to that time in your life when you did believe?

• Go back to your childhood … feeling the joy of belief in all things – Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Fairy Godmother and the fairy tale ending. Just remember how empowered you felt when all things were possible for you and you were told it could all happen.
• Keep a journal, write down all the dreams you have now along with the dreams that you have accomplished. Feel them in your soul!
• Every time you begin to feel as if the impossible is expected of you and you are not sure how it will all happen, bring to mind all those times you have accomplished the impossible (seeing the successes you have had) feeling the joy in these accomplishments.
• Believe in your gifts, your abilities and let go of the negative thoughts you have been conditioned to think because of hurts and pains and disappointments you have had in life.
• Seek out others that believe in you more than you believe in yourself. Remember you are not alone and ask for help.

I still believe in the elderly man dressed up in a red suit traveling around the world bestowing presents to all the good girls and boys — in a 24 hour period with only flying reindeer to make sure it happens without any problems. I carry this spirit of believing in me all the time. That is what you can do. Just lay your finger aside of your nose!

Believe in you!

 I can help in you believing in you again.  Sign up to talk with me.

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