Our mind is like the sea … it can be relaxing and calming as well as stormy and turbulent.  What is your mind like … your norm?“An entire sea of water

What is your “go to” mindset?  Do you immediately go to the negative thoughts plaguing you to doubt yourself and all that you do?  Or do you see the silver lining in any situation knowing that life just happens and it is not all about you … that it just is?

I have always been a pretty positive person … seeking to choose happy thoughts instead of dread thoughts.  Especially when it was thoughts about someone else.  I could always see the good in them … not so much in myself.  This was my past way of being.

I had convinced myself that I was not “good enough” to be loved.  By my family, my friends, my lover, and most especially by myself.  As I became aware of this pattern in my life, I began making different choices.  I read every self-help book that I could read.  I attended every enlightenment seminar that I could attend – meeting Deepak Chopra was amazing!  With this work, I began to see some small changes in my thinking and my choices and my thinking about me.  I wasn’t as unlovable as I had been thinking all of my life.

Life defining moments …

It wasn’t until I lost someone I deeply loved that I really began my change in life to love me fully.  With this loss, I first reverted back to my original behaviors that I had lived … feeling less than, not good enough and just not worth being loved at all.  Not only did I lose my dearest friend, lover and confidant … I lost me or rather my “sense” of who I was in my life.

Long story short … it took me almost losing myself totally to finally realize how important my life was in this life I was living.  I reached out for the support that was needed and got back on track with myself and my worth.  Having had that experience is why I do what I do today.  This journey was worth it in finding the love that I have for me.

We talked last week about marrying the heart and the head together … about allowing both to be important in how we feel about ourselves and the life we are living now.  Choosing to see both sides of you through the heart and the head, not being overtaken by the data that has been stored in your subconscious mind of all the hurts and pain you have experienced, is a key process in getting back in touch with your authentic self.  The authentic self that was born into this world in a perfect state of being … loving, open, kind, considerate … to others and to yourself.

What is your Norm?

In today’s world, you can be bombarded with negative news all day long (if that is what you choose).  Sometimes it seems as if only negative things are happening around you.  It becomes challenging to even think there could be “good” about anything that is going on.  And this is exactly what you need to do … find the good in everything that is happening.  Finding that good can be as simple as finding the love that you have extended even further than it has been before … toward people and events that make you wonder what is going on in this world as it suddenly looks pretty bleak.

Not easy to do and it is necessary to keep you grounded in the love that you have for yourself and for others.  So an easy step to do that is to first send love to you … love to heal anything and everything in you.  Grow strong from this love that you have for you and then send it out to the world.  Send it out through loving thoughts and energy.  Send it out by giving a smile to every person you meet.  Show them that love is important as fear is not an option in your life.

If you are looking to know more about this process of making love your Norm in life, there are plenty of ways to do that.  Find a community of love (whatever that looks like for you) and get involved in some way.  Seek that guide, coach or mentor that can help teach you specific tools to love you more and more each day.  Be open to that heart voice (inner voice) seeking for more.  Hear that voice instead of the head voice which is saying, “you can’t do that”.

Step out of the comfort zone of pain or “stuckness” in your life.
Choose you and the beautiful love that you have to give … to you and to others.


If you would like to have a conversation to look at this concept further, click here.  It’s just a conversation that can change your life.

Denise Hansard is a former corporate pricing expert turned motivational speaker & life coach with a Masters in counseling who has coached hundreds of women to make 6 figures, find the love of their life and get super healthy.  Author of the book Suffering in Comfort, she is an expert in transformation.