Are you always looking to others for their opinion? Do you need to check with someone else before making that “decision” … whether it is the new job to take, that new relationship you’re considering, or even looking to buy new clothes??? Is it more important to have approval on all that you do, say or even have rather than it is to be who you really are – your authentic self?
We are on our last sign of “Are you Stuck?” – the 5 signs that show you could be stuck … stuck in the dullness of just living, going through the motions of living, feeling as if you are “faking” everything about your life. The final sign is STAMP OF APPROVAL … that infamous sign that say you are viewing your world from an external perspective needing approval from others and not from an internal, be yourself perspective.
If you are stuck in Stamp of Approval, it can look like this:
- Perfectionism – nothing less will suffice; it has to be “perfect” all the time
- Worried about being judged
- Afraid of criticism of any kind
- Worried about pleasing family and close friends – you don’t want to let them down
- Wanting to be LIKED – by everyone — at all times
You have the need to be accepted; to be worthy of others loving you. You question “why” anyone would want to hire you, be with you or even notice you, as you are not sure you are worth this attention. I remember, as a child, crying when I would receive too much attention from something that I had done – something that was beyond the norm. No one could understand my need to be behind the scenes of my life and not in the limelight. There had been too many times that I had been told, in certain words or phrases, that I was not good “enough”. So I began to believe it. How could anyone love me if that were true?
This survival mode stems from having had disappointments in life, feeling rejected in relationships, or trying hard to fit in and still not be accepted. The opportunity you have with being stuck in Stamp of Approval is learning to love you right where you are right now! That was my opportunity and I finally made that leap of faith – learning to believe more in my worthiness and myself to become someone of value.
You are Awesome! If you can’t believe this statement, believe that I believe it of you!
Here is one tool that you can use to believe in you and move past the Stamp of Approval perspective that is keeping you stuck.
Practice Self Love!
You have heard the statement before – you have to love yourself first for anyone else to love you. There is a great deal of truth to this. Begin this practice with one way by:
Setting boundaries – saying “no” to things that you really don’t want to do is the beginning. Saying “no” allows you to really say “yes” to you. For the next week, say “no” to 5 things that you really don’t want to do. See how freeing this will become when you respect and love yourself enough to put you first. You will know when to say “no”.
Mirror work – every time you look into a mirror say “I love you”. Say this in your mind or out loud. Put some effort into this by looking deeply into your eyes to say these 3 little words that mean so much. Keep doing it until you begin to believe it.
These are just a couple of ways to practice self-love. There are many more. In your journey to putting yourself first, remember that putting yourself first is not vanity. It is a process of respecting you enough to take care of you in order to be the absolute best “you” for others.
Would you like help in getting Unstuck?